Those of you who follow us on Twitter are aware of the… shall we say, “active”, role we have assumed when it comes to matters of the Hartz.
Hartz and their social media marketing agency, Banyan Branch, are at a bit of a loss as to how to handle our guerrilla “twactics”. So far, the game plan has gone something like this:
- Panic
- Post goofy crap
- Block @BrokenHartzPets
- Watch Followers numbers start dropping
- Un-block @BrokenHartzPets
- Block @BrokenHartzPets
- You know what this problem needs? More goofy crap
- Un-block @BrokenHartzPets
- Get contacted repeatedly by @BrokenHartzPets
- Say nothing in response to @BrokenHartzPets
Much to Hartz’ dismay, when individuals have problems with their products, they are starting to call upon us more and more frequently and Twitter is fast becoming a hostile environment for Hartz and its sickeningly deceptive campaign of “sweetness and light”.
What follows is a correspondence, beginning on March 7, 2012, with a woman who experienced a problem with a Hartz dog product. She reached out to Hartz, but received no response on that day. The following day she tried again with no luck.
Had Hartz responded at a speed faster than what can only be described as the “speed of Hartz”, they may have been able to handle this matter quietly. This lack of response led the consumer to clue us in to what was happening:
While waiting for a response from Hartz, the consumer clued us in to what was happening.
Two days after the initial complaint by the consumer, Hartz finally responds.
Another Broken Hartz Follower joins the fray with a great remark.
As evidenced by the conversation above, Hartz didn’t respond until 2 days after the consumer first complained. What was Hartz so busy doing that it couldn’t find the time to respond? Posting the aforementioned collection of goofy crap.
Here’s a sampling:
Lastly, we must admit Hartz is not the only one that fell asleep at the wheel on this. Broken Hartz does a pretty good job of picking up on these sorts of things, but we got uncharacteristically side-tracked when @BrokenHartzPets Followers @Barbi_Twins got into a battle-royale with @kathyireland:
We at Broken Hartz may have gotten a bit carried away in our attempt to make this detour relevant to the cause. Kathy Ireland is pretty crazy, but we apologize to Mrs. Ireland for insinuating she would be crazy enough to work for Hartz Mountain Corporation.
The next time you’re on Twitter, make sure to check us out!
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