Tag Archives: lulz

The Wonderful World of Search Engine Optimization

We at BH see many interesting search terms used by individuals, causing them to stumble upon our site. We thought it may be best to share some of these and offer assistance to those seeking advice. We hope these answers will help future Googlers.

10) hoax hartz is killing dogs

Perhaps this EPA data will help to settle your question. The following screenshots are from the individual reports for both of Hartz Mountain Corporation’s dog products named in the EPA Public Advisory, Published in March 2010 (EPA Registration numbers 2596-150 and 2596-151)

Of course, you must also remember these are only the deaths Hartz has actually reported for only two of their spot-on products, this has been going on for decades, these reports only reflect 2008, plus it is suspected the majority of incidents go unreported or are left out due to technical limitations. These are the untold numbers.

Comparitively, how did Hartz’ dog products stack up against the other dog products named in the EPA’s Public Advisory?

The following chart shows, if a dog experienced an adverse reaction to any of the Spot-On dog products listed in the EPA Public Advisory Published in March 2010, what the likelihood was (based on percentage of reported events) of a dog experiencing Death or a Major, Moderate or Minor event. As you can see, in the case of an adverse event, dogs were 2.5 times more likely to die from a Hartz product than any of the other brands found in the EPA Public Advisory published in March 2010. Hartz also topped the list for Major events and Moderate events, clearly making it the most dangerous of these products.

Likelihood of Death, Major, Moderate or Minor Event if Your Dog Experiences an Incident With a Manufacturer’s Product Listed in the EPA Public Advisory published in March 2010:

For more fun with charts, click back there.

9) why does everyone hate hartz

We imagine this person now knows the answer to that question.

8) melinda dr. krazy dynotaku

??????????????

7) is hartz campaign by competitors

Umm… no.

6) “i am brokenhartzpets

No, you’re not. We wish to state this next bit is pure speculation, however, this seems like a lame attempt at investigation by an individual resembling the following illustration:

5) why are all these people blaming hartz

Because Hartz is to blame.

4) should i buy hartz flea and tick powder or sergeant’s household flea and tick spray?

Let’s see… there’s Hartzy… or Sarge.

May we kindly offer a third option?

3) is hartz victims for real

2) hartz organization that fights the hartz corporation

Welcome, new BH Warrior!

1) only positive feedback on hartz drops pro for dogs no negative remarks!

Why research the product if you are so thoroughly convinced it’s safe and do not wish to see evidence to the contrary?

We find it amusing you used an exclamation point. It’s almost as if you had lost patience with Google after numerous failed attempts to find the “Holy Grail” you seek.

We also find it quite amusing you broke down and visited our site anyway.

=^..^=


We Prefer the Term “Homage”

For legal purposes, Broken Hartz wishes to state the following video is a parody, though you probably would have gathered that.

Enjoy!

For legal purposes, Broken Hartz wishes to state the preceding video was a parody, though you probably gathered that.

We hope you enjoyed!

=^..^=

 


“The Rite Aid Affair”, Now Available

If you are one of the many participating in the Black March Boycott, you’ll be happy to know Broken Hartz is serving up heaping bowls of free entertainment today.

Many of you have been wondering about the email correspondences our affiliate had with Rite Aid, so we’ve gleefully posted them. These messages tell the story of how Broken Hartz came to be and make for interesting, as well as amusing, reading.

Grab some popcorn and click here.


Cybersquatting: A Time-Honored Hartz Tradition

We’d like to take a short break from our current exposé to talk about a little thing called cybersquatting.

On February 22, 2012, one day after our presence was made known to Hartz, some telling web domain purchases were frantically made and, we imagine, many pairs of soiled pants were deemed “unsalvageable” and thrown away.

The following screenshots show, for the next decade, Hartz Mountain Corporation is now the proud owner of brokenhartz.com, brokenhartz.net and brokenhartz.org. Congratulations, but why’d you stop there?

BrokenHartz.com


BrokenHartz.net


BrokenHartz.org


The Hartz team must have been quite pleased with itself and how clever it was to discover these available, seemingly overlooked, addresses. Surely, they thought this would be a blow to the Broken Hartz cause and its attempts to continue exposing them for the charlatans they are.

As usual, they were mistaken.

Since we had already revealed the extensive web-design experience of the Broken Hartz staff, we are surprised at how easily Hartz fell for this little domain-availability ruse.

Did you really think we hadn’t considered purchasing these, Hartz? You did, didn’t you?

Prior to launch, members of our organization discussed the merits of registering an official domain name for the Broken Hartz site. Through this discussion, it was decided we are quite comfortable with the WordPress platform and the protection its creators offer to those exercising free speech and the right to protest. More importantly, after being made aware of Hartz’ penchant for cybersquatting, through this post at HartzKills.org, the decision was obvious.

We thought it would be much more incriminating, and funnier, to allow Hartz the opportunity to show its desire to contain its latest “challenge” by engaging in another activity that is frowned upon by ethical businesses. In typical Hartz fashion, they either didn’t care, were too scared to think straight or were simply unaware domain names could be purchased privately. Had they known this, they would have been spared the embarrassment of the above screenshots.

Cybersquatting is illegal, but should we really be surprised that Hartz would engage in such a thing? Here are a few other domain names that Hartz is illegally squatting on that will be keeping the Broken Hartz addresses company. We are proud to join the ranks of:

(You may need to enter a CAPTCHA to view these.)

The sites Hartz was trying to silence via the above captured domains are HartzVictims.org and HartzKills.org. Some of these domains are up for renewal at the end of this year. Better get a move on, Hartz.

A lack of an official domain name does nothing to weaken our cause, but allowing Hartz to take ownership of these addresses has certainly strengthened it.

Sorry, Hartz. This is just the beginning and your attempts to contain us, like your products, just aren’t that good.


Hartz Mountain Corporation BBB Fail

It should come as no surprise that if you check out Hartz on BBB.org, they have received an “F”, the lowest possible rating, from the Better Business Bureau.


Broken Hartz on Twitter

The Broken Hartz campaign is in full swing thanks to our new Twitter account. We’re happy to see we’ve received lots of new followers and support within a short time.

We’ve also been having some fun calling Hartz out on their shenanigans… admittedly maybe a little too much fun.

Our approach on Twitter is a bit silly, but our message is serious. We want Hartz Mountain Corporation to finally take responsibility for their deadly pet products and the thousands of pet owners who have been left helpless and heartbroken.

Follow us on Twitter @brokenhartzpets and help us out with a shout-out or retweet. Better yet, why not send a few tweets to @hartzpets yourself? Here’s a tweet to get you started:

“Hey @hartzpets. You suck.”


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